PAINFUL THOUGHT..:(
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SUMWHERE..
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SUMONE IS FLIRTING WID MY FUTURE WIFE.. hahaha:P:D


 2.

Wife: Yesterday I saw a very
Beautiful Girl.
Husband: Really ?? Then what
happened?
Wife: I just kept on Admiring her,
On & On..
Husband (Gets Irritated): But, what
happened then?
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Wife Smiled & said: Then What ??
I Simply Moved away from the
Mirror !!

7.10.2012

1. :: aaj ek mast ladki ko dekha ♥
( mere maan me laduu futaa :P )

I directly asked hey beautiful whats ur facebook id?? :D

Girl : facebook ?? Whats that ?? :o

(tabhi maan me dusra laduu futa ye bachii bilkul sharif he set krloo isee )

I : biwi bangegi meri ?? :p








___________ _________ _________ __
____
TEACHER: Maria, go to the
map and find North
America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class,
who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

____________ _________ _________ __
____
TEACHER: John, why are you
doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it
without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ __

_______ ___
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you
spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong,
but you asked me how I
spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________ _________ _________ __

_______ _____
TEACHER: Donald, what is
the chemical formula for
water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you
talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said
it's H to O.

____________ _________ _________ __
__
TEACHER: Winnie, name one
important thing we have
today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

____________ _________ _________ __
_______ ___
TEACHER: Glen, why do you
always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer
to the ground than you are.

 ____________ _________ _________ __
_______
TEACHER: Millie, give me a
sentence starting with ' I.. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie.....
Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the
ninth letter of the alphabet.'

____________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER: George
Washington not only
chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also
admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still
had the axe in his hand....

____________ _________ _________ __
______
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell
me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have
to, my Mom is a good cook.

____________ _________ _________
TEACHER: Clyde , your
composition on 'My Dog' is
exactly the same as your
brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same
dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

 ____________ _________ _________ __
___
TEACHER: Harold, what do
you call a person who keeps
on talking when people are
no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
____________ _________ _________ __

9/10/2012

1. Husband: "When I get mad at you,
you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush."





2. Wife: Look at that man who has
drunk a lot..
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy
friend and i denied him for
marriage.
Husband: Oh my god, he is still
celebrating!!






3. During Breakup -
.
.
GIRL : I got new BOY friend..
He is Smarter, Intelligent and Cuter
than you.

So give me my photo Back..!! :P
.
GIRLS Rock ;-) :D
.
BOY: Sent 31 GIRL friends Photo's
and said : I forgot u r face Darling,
So please select your Photo
Yourself and Send back the
Remaining..!! :P :D
.
BOYS Double Rock ;-)







4. The Devil walks into a
crowded bar.
Within seconds the bar
emptied with people
running out screaming all
over the place, all except
for one old man leaned over
the bar.
The Devil wanders across to
the old man and says

"Do you know how I am?"
The old man took
another sip of his beer and
answered "Yep"
The Devil stared at the old
man and asked "Well
aren't you afraid of me?" The
old boy looks the
Devil up and down for a
minute and shrugs "I
married your sister 40 years
ago, why the hell
should I be scared of you?"





10/10/2012

1. Definition of "KISS" from the educational point of view:

•MATHS : KISS is the shortest distance between two Lips..!!

•ECONOMICS : KISS is that thing for which the DEMAND is always higher than the SUPPLY..!!

•PHYSICS : KISS is the powerful process of charging two human bodies in a short time..!!

•COMPUTER : KISS is just like a LAN, in which two bodies are connected without any DATA CABLE..!!






2. A girl sending an SMS to her lover, if u are sleeping, send me a dream. If u are crying, send me your tears. If u are laughing, send me ur laughter.

The lover replied back, i'm in the toilet. Do you need anything?





3.Wife comes home very late @ night & queitly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees 4 legs instead of 2. She took the baseball bat & starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she done with sense of pride & satisfaction, she goes went to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she found her husband reading a magazine.

Husband says, " Hie darling, your parents have cum to visit us. So i let them stay in our bedroom". I hope u 've greeted them.








4. 1 people were hanging on a rope under the helicopiter, 10 men & 1 woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so one had to go or they will all fall.

They weren't able to choose until the woman gave a speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go off the rope because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for family & men in general.

As soon as she finished, men started clapping.



13/10/2012


1. I Showed U D Headlights & Told U 2 Let Me Go 1st.

Santa: I Also Started D Wipers & Said No, No, No..




14/10/2012

1.  "How did the human
race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve
and they had children, and so was all mankind

made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same
question.. The father answered, "Many years ago
there were monkeys from which the human race
evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
"Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human
race was created by God, and Dad said they
developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I
told you about my side of the family and your father
told you about his."

2.

At dinner a little boy offered to lead in prayer;
"Dear GOD, I thank U 4 giving me such lovable parents. Thanx 4 the visitors & their children who finished all my cookies & ice cream. Bless them so that they won't come again. 4give our neighbour's son who was wrestling with my sister on her bed & his daughter 4 eating a sausage from my brother's pants. This winter please send clothes 2 all those poor naked ladies in Daddy's cellphone
& provide shelter 4 the homeless man who uses mum's room when dad is at work AMEN! The Dinner was cancelled!!

 

 

 

 

15/10/2012

1.

A Bus full of 10 ugly people crashed and they all die. In heaven they were all granted 1 wish each.
1st person: make me beautiful.
And so the wish was granted. The rest wished for the same thing exept for the last guy. He kept on laughing very hard, and they asked "whats so funny? whats ur wish?
He said: "make them all ugly again"!

 

 

 

2.

Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”

One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.







3.

MEN: Are like BLUETOOTH, he is connected to you when you nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away… WOMEN: Are like Wi-Fi, she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one…

16/10/2012

1.JOB INTERVIEW!

INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of
Good.
SAM: Bad.
INTERVIEWER: Come.
SAM: Go
INTERVIEWER: Ugly
SAM: Fine
INTERVIEWER: U're wrong!

SAM: U're right!
INTERVIEWER: Shut up!
SAM: Keep talking!
INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that.
SAM: Ok now carry on all that.
INTERVIEWER: Get out!
SAM: Come in!
INTERVIEWER: Oh my God.
SAM: Oh my Devil.
INTERVIEWER: U're Rejected.
SAM: I'm selected...

18/10/2012

1. Boy to a careless girl: I Love u !
Girl: Ha Ha
Boy: I will die for u !!
Girl: Ha Ha ha
Boy: I will buy a diamond ring for u
Girl: Awww.. really!! Promise ????
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Boy: HaHa Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha  







28/10/2012

1.

A certain boy was holding large stones in his ears dancing. I asked him wat was he doing. He told me that he is listening to the rock music.